


A Conduct Of Light

by towritemeanstolive



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anger, Complicated Relationships, Crime, Danger, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Heartbreak, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Murder, NSFW, Oral Sex, Riddles, Romance, Sex, Shakespeare, Tension, Valentine's Day, Violence, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:15:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towritemeanstolive/pseuds/towritemeanstolive
Summary: Do plans ever succeed? Their first Valentine’s Day as a couple is just around the corner and John Watson has planned several things for the day. He is nervous, yet looks forward to it and cares about it maybe a bit too much, but somehow, Sherlock manages to ruin it in the worst way possible. Can they fix their problems? A lot of back and forth and uncertainty comes along their Valentine’s Day preparations, but one thing is for sure: Neither of them could have ever guessed how much thrill and emotional stress it will cause them and their relationship will never be same. Someone has to die.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically my first story ever. It's roughly based on another one I wrote a few months back after I got the idea right before falling asleep. I got up, not caring about the fact that it was already 2am and wrote my concept. But everything that's left from that story now is the fact that it's Valentine's Day as well as just some of the date ideas. Everything else just sprung into my head while writing. It's a holiday's work and I'd love to get feedback. I'm always open for constructive criticism. If there are any grammar mistakes, please let me know. English isn't my first language and I have a habit of correcting everybody's mistakes/I can't handle mistakes whenever I see some.  
> And just a quick warning if you haven't read the tags. This story contains multiple scenes with harm and sex.  
> Anyways, have fun reading!  
> (Many of the chapter's titles are inspired by music titles as you will see and the title is from one of my favourite Sherlock Holmes quotes ever)

When ever does something in their lives happen the normal way?

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have been dating for quite a while now, at least that must be what they are doing. Neither of them ever said so and it never felt like that. Well, surely in some way, but they never went through the normal process of meeting someone, arranging dates and it eventually becoming more, so that they lack this part of a relationship which neither of them happens to miss.

They just got together, because it felt so right. It was as though they were together for many years already. Months had past since they first met and all that was needed was a thrilling case with a touch of the danger of one of them potentially being murdered combined with one or two glasses of wine and so finally they had to accept that they were more than just friends, them being the last two since all of their friends and acquiantances saw it already.

With no other person they are so comfortable. With no other person they feel complete. And whenever one of them isn’t with the other, it is as though a part of themselves is missing. They aren’t functioning the same way and emotional, but somehow also physical pain can be seen in their behaviour. The doctor and the consulting detective in those moments couldn’t look sadder and check their phones every other second. Every noise is hoped to be the returning love and when it’s not, it is as though there couldn’t be greater disappointment. It has got to a point where Sherlock Holmes doesn’t really want to solve any cases without John Watson anymore and John Watson doesn't want to miss any of the cases and the excitement that goes along with solving them alongside Sherlock Holmes.

So it seems they are still in their romance stage, but that isn’t quite the case. They already had to go through the most horrible and challenging moments together as most of the cases Sherlock Holmes is asked to help with aren’t normal and mostly very dangerous, but their love for each other goes deeper than one can imagine, than they want to admit, than they have yet to realise.

And so, although the romance stage is long over and they experienced enough trouble for two lives, it won’t ever feel like that, even though or indeed because they already went through the most horrible and challenging moments. Their relationship couldn’t be called easy anyway. Living with Sherlock Holmes couldn’t be called easy anyway. But, repeating it again, when ever did something in their lives happen the normal way and who wants normal anyway?

Of course they experience the nervousness, panic, fear, luck, joy, passion and all the other feelings there are when in a relationship, but they decided not to make it a cheesy kind of relationship, because that’s not what they are and it makes them uncomfortable. Or not?

The 14th of February, the most cheesy day of them all, will be tomorrow and John decided to break their unspoken rule and plan a lovely romantic day. If one of them could be called a romantic, it would be John Watson and so he set himself to doing it.

He is afraid what Sherlock Holmes will think of it, with Sherlock Holmes‘ direct way and because they never did anything like this and so John Watson doesn’t have any experience of how Sherlock Holmes will react, there is still a potential that his feelings might be hurt, but at the same time it could be that John Watson hurts Sherlock Holmes‘ feelings, mind the inexperience. What if Sherlock Holmes‘ deeply hates Valentine’s Day? What if he has some strange memory of a Valentine’s Day and because something very strange happened he decided he won’t do Valentine’s Day anymore? Or what if he simply doesn’t like Valentine’s Day because it’s ‘stupid‘ and ‘unnecessary for proving that you appreciate someone‘? What if it’s just not his thing? But after all Sherlock deserves such a day(and so much more) and John is determined to successfully put his plan into action.

It has to be perfect, he’s put a lot of thought and research in it as well as several pages of notes. But it’s like he forgot how to be romantic, as though all the years of good(and bad) experience are gone and he’s a nervous, innocent teenager again who doesn’t know what to do.


	2. The Desperate Frustration Of Plan-Making, An Entry In John Watson’s Diary – A General Mood Of I Hate This, But I Want This

[It is a mild morning in London, 221B Baker Street, bedroom and JHW is already awake as he always wakes up quite early. JHW sits there for a while and SH is still alseep, but after some time passed JHW turns to the side to carefully check that SH keeps sleeping. JHW then opens the drawer of his nightstand. By the sound that the drawer made SH moves and JHW is still fearing that what he wants to do can’t be done today. He looks over his shoulder and after he assured SH is still sleeping, he takes out an old, brown notebook and then closes the drawer as quiet as possible. JHW loves to write down almost everything. It is calming for him, it is like some form of therapy, it clears his mind and makes space for other thoughts. And so he began to write in this notebook. It is like his blog, but for more private thoughts, so private that not even SH knows of them. JHW never told SH of this notebook and keeps it safely hidden in the drawer of his nightstand and they never look in each others‘ nightstands! Cecking once again that SH is asleep, JHW picks up a pen and begins to write in royal blue ink]

_ ~~Valentine’s Day plans~~ _

_ ~~Our first Valentine’s Day~~ _

[JHW hesitates for a moment, thinking, frowning. Then he goes on, determined enough to underline his caption and quite happy with it]

_ A surprise for Sherlock _

_ let him sleep in  _

_ breakfast in bed  _

_ ~~picnic?~~ _ _ too cold, also he hates such things, definitely no picnic! _

[JHW wonders why he thought of it in the first place, probably because he enjoys picnics and nice days in parks and forests. Unlike SH, JHW does like nature. JHW stops thinking about it. He concentrates again and goes on writing]

 _ ~~cinema~~ _ _ theatre! god I hate it. for him, for him.  _

[JHW rolls his eyes, closes them and sighs, but then he smiles thinking about why he’s doing it and especially for whom he’s doing it and so goes on writing]

_ library  _

_ boat trip  _

_ ~~hiking~~ _ _ What?  _

[JHW looks incredulously at his own idea]

_ DINNER.  _

[JHW gives up, the ideas have left him, his brain is empty. Although it seems boring, dinner is always good. They can do that and JHW honestly just wants to spend time with SH. Even being arrested and stuck in a cell is nice(as they were already proven before). In his frustration JHW says something out loud and by that SH awakes]


	3. Not A Sensitive Man

JHW: „Screw it.“

[JHW dissatisfiedly shuts the book and, with an expression of frustration on his face, he is just about to put it back in the drawer, but suddenly stops as he notices that SH is awake. JHW frowns and closes his eyes]

SH(tired): „Good morning.“

JHW(turning around with slight panic in his eyes): „Um, uh, good morning.“

[SH, always observant, notices that he just caught JHW at something that wasn’t supposed to be shared with another person, he sees the notebook and tries to get it]

SH: „Hey, what do you have there?“

[SH reaches out, but JHW is faster and hides the notebook behind his back]

JHW: „Nothing!“

[SH throws away his blanket, both start to have a ‘fight‘ over the notebook. SH leans over JHW and their eyes meet. SH smiles mischievously]

SH: „Oh, come on. You know you can’t hide anything from me. Give me that notebook.“

JHW: „Unfortunately for you, there are some things I…want to hide from you and…I’d be very happy…if you’d let me. It’s the best for both of us.“

[every pause JHW makes is caused by both’s movements in their ‘fight‘ which SH, out of astonishment, stops for a couple of seconds]

SH(raising his eyebrows): „Oh really?“

JHW: „Yes, it could…ruin some surprises and that’s all I will say about this.“

[SH and JHW, holding each other, one to get the notebook, the other to prevent the previous from doing so, relinquish their grips. JHW because he thinks he’s safe and SH, because he wants JHW to feel so. SH is still on top of JHW and their eyes meet]

SH(looking lovingly at JHW, but still mischievously smiling, brushing some hair out of JHW’s face): „Okay fine. Let’s not start the day like that.“

[SH kisses JHW, JHW kisses back and their grips loosen. SH runs his hand through JHW’s hair, the other hand on his thigh. JHW runs his hand under SH’s shirt. They kiss, first slow, then more passionate. JHW gasps]

SH: „HA! Let’s see what we have here:“

[JHW was tricked. SH saw the chance and successfully took the notebook out of JHW’s hands. JHW’s jaw drops]

JHW(angrily): „Are you kidding me? Now?“

[JHW tries to get the notebook back, but fails. SH is scrolling through the pages and stops at the newest]

SH: „Hmm okay, let’s see. ‘A surprise for‘...Oh.“

[SH sits still, eyes wide open, looking at the page and although he regrets it, he is still unable to look away. His previous smile turned into pure amazement]

SH: „I…um…wow.“

[JHW quickly twitches the notebook out of SH’s hands, shutting it and putting it back in the drawer]

JHW(ironically): „Thank you.“

[There’s a short pause, but then JHW turns around to SH and frowns]

JHW(wondering): „Wow?“

SH: „Yes, well, I didn’t expect that.“

JHW(disappointed): „Of course you didn’t! Isn’t that the whole point of surprises? But who cares, it’s ruined now.“

[SH and JHW are sitting on the bed for a couple of seconds, then SH gets up to put on his morning gown]

SH: „Listen, I’m sorry, really. But to be fair, maybe you should be more careful and not write in it while I’m right there beside you.“

JHW: „You can’t be serious. It’s not my fault! Just keep your goddamn nose out of things that aren’t meant for you!“

[JHW calms himself down as there is something to talk about. He gets up, following SH into the kitchen]

JHW: „Anyways, now that the cards are on the table….what do you think?“

SH: „About what?“

JHW: „Valentine’s Day? Date plans?“

SH: „Suggest something.“

JHW(getting louder): „You just read it!“

SH: „Well then, no.“

JHW(slightly appalled): „No? Why?“

SH: „Isn’t it obvious?“

JHW(annoyed): „Oh for Christ’s sake, Sherlock, no, not everything that’s obvious to you, is obvious to everyone else. Would you please explain?“

[SH begins to brew some coffee]

SH: „Do you want some coffee?“

JHW: „Yes. Please…So?“

SH: „So, what was on your list again? Ah yes, library. Nice idea, as you know I like to spend some time in the library. But I’ve just been there and am not planning to go there anytime soon, because first, there’s nothing I need to get, and second and most importantly, the library is, as I recently discovered, just a facade for a drug cartel. They are operating from there, but not for long anymore.“

JHW(startled): „Wait, what?“

SH: „Sadly. Great service, quite good selection of books, nice atmosphere really, very clean. A bit suspicious it turns out, didn’t want to leave any evidence. Texted Lestrade already. The library will be closed for a pretty long time I suppose and I don’t feel like finding a new one at the moment.“

JHW(shocked): „Oh my god.“

SH: „Not quite.“

[SH pours some coffee in two cups and gives one of them to JHW. After what SH just said JHW is speechless for a few seconds. He takes a sip]

JHW: „Okay. But what’s with the boat trip? And the dinner?“

SH(confidently): „Have you considered the gulls that could potentially attack us? I don’t know if you remember, but these birds tend to hate me, not to mention how cold it is on the water this time of the year. As for dinner, finding the perfect restaurant will take too much time and then we can’t sit at our window seats or a stupid temporary waiter won’t know how to behave properly and ruin our evening. There are too many options.“

JHW(slowly losing his patience, sighs): „And the theatre?“

SH: „Boring.“

JHW: „Boring? That’s it?“

SH: „Yes, boring.“

[SH actually would love to go to the theatre and JHW knows that, but he is so full of anger and disappointment, that he probably definitely didn’t think of it]

JHW(enraged): „Fine.“

[JHW fiercely puts his cup on the table and walks into the bedroom again]

SH: „What are you doing?“

JHW: „I need to take a walk.“

SH: „Well, I think for that you have to actually go outside.“

JHW(ironically and annoyed): „Oh haha, really? I didn’t think of that. I just wanted to walk up and down the bedroom over and over again.“

[JHW returns to the kitchen, fully dressed and with an old brown notebook in his hand. JHW is waving with it in SH’s direction as he is on his way to the front door]

SH(calling from the kitchen): „Oh of course. Have fun and could you make it a bit more legible next time?“

JHW(shaking his head, shouting back): „Sod you!“

[JHW slams the door behind him and SH is left alone in 221B Baker Street. Surprisingly, SH smiles]


	4. A Little Fall Of Rain, An Entry In John Watson's Diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following chapters 4 and 5 are written in parallel time and therefore shouldn’t be seen as consecutive. One is written to show what JHW does and feel, one to show what SH does and feel, all in the same period of time

[JHW is overwhelmed, he walks aimlessly through London, but in the end gets to Regent’s Park. JHW sighs and sits down on a bench doing nothing other than thinking and looking at the nature for a while. He is trying to clear his mind and calm himself down and nature is always helpful with that. After some time JHW remembers he got the notebook with him. He takes the notebook and an old pen out and, after looking at it for a few seconds, begins to write in black ink]

_I know he’s not easy, I knew it from the day we met. Christ, he told me._

_But did I ever care that he’s different? Sure, it can be hard sometimes,_

_who am I kidding, most times, but that’s what I need. Or do I just_

_ignore it?_

[JHW hesitates for a moment. In the meantime it has started to rain and JHW looks up, blinking, and then down again at the notebook. JHW sighs, but goes on writing]

_Is is worth it? Is all the trouble worth it? I wish I never wrote that down,_

_I wish I never had to think this. He makes me happier than anyone, but_

_is he good for me? Do I deserve better?_

[JHW’s hand starts shaking. He looks serious]

_No! Don’t ever listen to the people who call him freak! Ever! He is_

_more than I deserve and he deserves more than he thinks. He means so_

_much to me, he means the world to me. Does he? I think so. It must be._

_Of course he isn’t normal, but I don’t want normal._

[It is still raining a bit, but it seems to be a short shower, the sun already comes out promising rainbows; JHW drifts away for a moment thinking of the many moments together with SH. It makes JHW smile]

_I love it when he plays the violin, I love it when he hums and thinks I_

_don’t notice, I love it how he plumps my pillow every evening to make_

_me feel comfortable, I love it when he takes me with him and God, I_

_love it when he does his deduction thing and leaves the whole room in_

_stunned silence._

[JHW can’t be stopped now]

_It’s just an old notebook anyway and sometimes I want to tell him_

_everything that I write in here. I want to share everything with him and_

_even though I don’t, I bet he knows more than I think. He always does._

_He reads me like an open book and I don’t even mind._

[JHW admits to himself, as always he considers himself at fault. His smile fades]

_It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have asked. We didn’t want to make it cheesy_

_and yet I tried. I know he hates it and yet I tried. And I shouldn’t have_

_kept the notebook a secret. What’s secret is even more appealing to_

_him. I have to control my anger better. I can’t loose my temper every_

_fucking time. Just get yourself together! Now he is home alone and I_

_hurt his feelings…_

[JHW shakes his head bursting out a short laughter]

_The day we met I wouldn’t ever have said something like that, but yes_

_he has feelings. Well, he had back then, but different and people didn’t_

_think so. He changed, in a good way. And I hurt him._

[It has stopped raining, the sky is clearing up. JHW is sodden. He is now full of regret, but makes a decision]

_Great, now I hate myself for that. Just go home and apologize. Maybe_

_that idiot does so too then._

[JHW never wrote it down, let alone said it, but in that moment JHW knows it and admits it to himself. He smiles while writing it. Though not ready to tell SH, it assures JHW to forget all the bad thoughts and in fact embrace that they stick together no matter what]

_God, I love that idiot._

[JHW shuts the notebook and looks into the sky, the sun blinds him. JHW feels the warmth in his face and looks around to see the many trees and birds as his heart could skip a beat. JHW nervously tips twice with the notebook on his knees, nods and gets up. He puts the notebook back in his jacket, adjusts said jacket and sets off to return to 221B]


	5. An Entry In Sherlock Holmes' Notebook

SH: „So far so good, sort of.“

[After he got ready, SH goes back into the bedroom to his own nightstand, single-mindedly. He takes out a new-looking, black notebook and a pen and returns with them to the living room and sits down in his armchair. SH opens the notebook, thinks for a bit and then begins to write in navy ink]

_ A surprise for John _

_ So far the plan is working out. He has no idea that I am planning  _

_ something and I want to keep it like that till the end, although I  _

_ hate to see him so disappointed and angry. Despite the fact that I  _

_ see no sense in social conventions and holidays, I know that John  _

_ would love this day to be special and I, in fact, would love that too.  _

_ John deserves it and therefore I am planning that he will never  _

_ forget our first Valentine’s Day together. In the following, I will  _

_ provide a list of activities and gestures for said day and I am hoping,  _

_ especially after I now read John’s ideas, that they will have the  _

_ desired effect and make him outstandingly happy.  _

 

_ Don't try to let him sleep in, he wakes up first anyway  _

_ Make him his favourite breakfast, because you never do it = special  _

_ Flowers!  _

_ Go for a walk, he loves nature and trees and animals and all that  _

_ No theatre, unfortunately he dislikes it more than I thought  _

_ Instead, go to a wine tasting, alcohol is always helpful  _

_ If that isn’t available, brewery tour?  _

_ Should I teach him how to dance?  _

_ Cook dinner together, try something new  _

_ Spend the evening watching a film he likes  _

_ Play the violin for him  _

 

_ For the unlikely case that some arse(or John, especially John) gets  _

_ his hands on this notebook I will keep one surprise a secret. But if  _

_ someone other than me actually reads this, I hereby try to appeal to  _

_ the good in them and hope they will as well keep everything that is  _

_ written in here a secret. If they do, thank you and if not, screw you.  _

[Just as SH finishes his last sentence, he hears the front door being opened. JHW returns. JHW closes the door, but doesn’t slam it. While JHW comes upstairs, SH shuts his notebook and rushes into the bedroom to put it back in the nightstand. JHW is pretty fast]


	6. Unnecessary Apologies

JHW: „Sherlock?“

[SH quickly returns to the living room and sits down in his armchair, pretending to read the newspaper. JHW arrives in the living room]

JHW: „Sherlock? There you are. Sherlock, I need to tell you something.“

[SH looks up from his newspaper]

JHW: „I, well you know I took a walk and I thought about…this morning and well…“

[JHW sighs, smiling]

JHW: „I’m sorry.“

[SH is suprised and puts the newspaper away. He looks at JHW, listening]

JHW(alternately looking up and down, nervously smiling): „I know we don’t want cheesy, romantic dates, but I just, you know, wanted to try something new and…surprise you. Who knows, it could’ve been amazing. Everything’s amazing when I’m with you:“

[SH is really trying not to stand up and kiss the complete idiot in front of him]

JHW(standing strong, determined and looking directly at SH): „The point is, I’m sorry for trying and loosing my temper once again. I swear I’m working on it.“

[SH knows it isn’t JHW’s fault, but also knows JHW can’t help but consider himself at fault. He stands up and goes to JHW. He puts his hands around JHW’s waist, hoping to let this topic be and forget it for at least a moment, so that SH can see JHW happy for at least a moment]

SH(smiling): „Oh, but I love it when you get a little wild.“

[SH comes even closer to JHW and their eyes meet]

JHW(a bit sad): „I, I just wished you didn’t steal the notebook out of my hands…I know you need to know everything and that’s great. But just this one time, couldn’t you give me the favour?“

[SH was just about to kiss JHW, but stops, pulls away and looks at John. SH closes his eyes and sighs. SH remembers he has a plan to fulfill, even if it means to disappoint JHW once again]

SH: „John…It wasn’t the first time.“

JHW: „What do you mean?“

SH: „The notebook. I knew of it.“

JHW(looking up at SH, frowning a bit): „Um, well okay, but as long as you didn’t read it“

[JHW has his hand on SH’s shirt and pulls him closer to kiss him, but SH stops him]

SH(lying): „I did.“

[JHW looks at SH for a good 10 seconds, his eyes wide open but not saying a word. All joy that was left is gone. JHW takes his hand from SH’s shirt. He turns around and quickly, quietly leaves into the bedroom. Still silent, JHW locks the door behind him and leans on it. SH sighs and stands still for a few seconds, then he goes to the bedroom’s door. SH also leans on the door, putting his hand on it]

SH: „John?“

[Silence]

SH: „John.“

[Silence. SH sighs again and goes back into the living room. He sits down on the couch, his legs up and leans his head on the wall. After a while SH gets a text message]

_We could need your help_

_\- GL_

[SH looks at his phone]

_Little problem in the library_

_\- GL_

_Big problem in the library_

_\- GL_

[SH really doesn’t feel like coping with those idiots at the crime scene, but he knows JHW needs some space and maybe a case is exactly what SH needs right now. Maybe SH and JHW just for once have to spend some time alone. SH needs to come up with other thoughts and so he types back]

_Be there in 20_

_\- SH_

[SH stands up, takes his coat and goes to the front door. SH then opens the door and leaves 221B Baker Street. The door closes and JHW is left alone]


	7. Decrypting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following chapters 7 and 8 are written in parallel time and therefore shouldn’t be seen as consecutive. One is written to show what JHW does and feel, one to show what SH does and feel.  
> I have by no means any experience with crime scenes and cases and want to apologize for any mistakes or illogical ideas. This is, after all, just a 17-year-old’s attempt

[SH takes a cab to the library. Outside of it GL is already awaiting him]

GL: „Ah, Mr. Holmes, there you are. This will be interesting. Come on then.“

[GL goes into the library accompanied by SH. They are entering the room and slight amazement can be seen in SH’s eyes]

SH: „Where are the books?“

GL: „That’s why you’re here. We hope you can tell us. The video tapes don’t help. Nothing on there. Looked like everything’s fine.“

SH: „But as we see, not everything’s fine.“

[SH points at the empty bookshelves, asking for permission as he knows he isn’t very welcome]

SH: „Can I?“

GL: „Oh sure, sure.“

[SH goes on to deduce, checking the floor, the windows and window sills, the sealing, lamps, doors, walls and bookshelves, but he doesn’t have to search for long]

SH(looking incredulously at GL): „How long have you been here? You couldn’t possibly not see this.“

[SH points at the last bookshelf. There between the wall and the bookshelf is a single book. SH takes the book out]

GL(raising his eyebrows, smiling): „Oh, well…Shakespeare huh? They must have forgotten it.“

SH: „Of course they didn’t.“

GL: „No?“

[SH examines the book]

SH: „No. First of all, wasn’t the whole point of this to get all the books out? If it was, they wouldn’t forget one that’s so obviously located between the shelf and the wall, just enough to be seen if searched after. And we can eliminate that just someone random put it there, because why would they? No-one puts a book there if not for a good reason. Oh yes, this is interesting, riddles.“

GL: „Riddles? So you mean this book is some kind of hint?“

SH: „Yes, obviously. Look here!“

[SH shows GL the first page. Someone wrote in there]

**_For the well-read mind or minor stupid_ **

**_There’s always a little bit more included_ **

**_So please show us and use your brilliance_ **

**_For there is no darkness but ignorance_ **

**_You may see like a bird but always think like a man_ **

**_And will you prove us right we may become your fan._ **

GL(looking up from the book): „What’s that supposed to mean?“

[SH turns around and is off to go. He smiles]

SH(shouting from the door): „You’ve got the answer in your hand!“

[GL looks down at the book, blinking and frowning. SH has left the library and is now in a cab driving to the destination he just told his driver. Their journey takes a while as they are driving through half of London. SH is looking out of the window and, because he now isn’t distracted for the first time in a good hour, thinks about JHW and the plan he has to fulfill. He knows that by saying he read the diary he immensely hurt his love, probably enough to rebuild said’s trust issues, even against him. Still, SH is hoping for it to end in a good way, if, when Valentine’s Day is there and he finally can initiate JHW into his plan. But just to make sure that JHW, if he does, doesn’t have to worry where he went, SH sends out a quick message]

_Out for a case. Riddles, Shakespeare, Lestrade can tell you. Could take a while_

_\- SH_

[After a while the cab stops. SH pays the driver and takes off. He goes straight up to a statue, a statue of William Shakespeare, located in Leicester Square. SH talks to himself as he is figuring what to do]

SH: „There is no darkness but ignorance, so obvious. ‘You may see like a bird but always think like a Man‘, see like a bird, perspective, up, up on the statue!“

[SH climbs up the statue and searches for anything unusual. On the stack of books Shakespeare leans on he finds another book, Shakespeare again. Knowing it already, SH opens the book to find a riddle]

**_The mysteries three you are one step closer_ **

**_Le Roi Lear would be proud of you_ **

**_Always remember its famous composer-_ **

**_His nativity is the key_ **

**_And the holy destination connaissez vous._ **

[This time SH doesn’t know immediately where to go, but only a few seconds later, SH shuts the book, puts it in his coat and is off again. He takes a cab again and texts GL while driving]

_There was another book, another riddle. Says it’s three in total. Not the best of poets though_

_\- SH_

[GL answers immediately]

_Where are you??? I’ve texted you multiple times!!!_

_\- GL_

[SH bursts out a laughter of disbelieve and shakes his head]

_You still haven’t got it? Shakespeare!_

_\- SH_

_We got that! But where in that riddle does it say where we have to go??_

_\- GL_

_Wow. ‘There is no darkness but ignorance‘_

_\- SH_

_We’ll be there in a couple, just wait!_

_\- GL_

[SH arrives at the second location and before he pays the driver and gets off, he texts GL]

_Too late, off to the next one_

_\- SH_

_Sherlock?_

_\- JHW_

[SH is now at St Paul’s Church. The poem though was about a house that was located between Silver and Monkswell Street, where Shakespeare lived with the French Mountjoys. It was the first location SH had thought of, but the hint ‘holy‘ didn’t fit. A bit of thinking and eliminating that the riddle-makers wouldn’t choose a place that doesn’t exist anymore and he found the right place]

_Sherlock where are you? I wanted to ask Mrs H, but she’s out_

_\- JHW_

SH(to himself): „This is ridiculous.“

[SH sighs, opens the book and finds the final riddle]

**_Praise yourself, you showed your wit_ **

**_But now we need some other skills_ **

**_The art of reckoning for just a bit_ **

**_And we will guarantee for thrills_ **

_Sherlock? Where are you? Lestrade doesn’t know either. He said you were at the Fountain in Leicester Square, but where are you now?_

_\- JHW_

**_Take the first two places and think of a last_ **

**_Now you’ve got to place them on a map_ **

**_Time is running, so you better be fast_ **

**_A loved one would be thankful we bet_ **

**_We’re certain Pythagoras can help_ **

**_But hurry up, we can hear her whelp_ **

_Sherlock, where are you? I’m worried! Please just a quick message that everything’s fine_

_\- JHW_

**_What you got so far will build a line_ **

**_And by one hundred eighty-six feet must decline_ **

**_Then take that spot and build the next_ **

**_Neither sharp nor obtuse it stands_ **

**_And go until you see the drama_ **

**_Before you might want to send a text_ **

**_Because as soon as the riddle’s poet shakes your hands_ **

**_You will wish you said goodbye to mama._ **

[SH reads it several times, then takes out some paper he found in his pockets, a pen and his phone]

SH(to himself): „Please not…“

[SH begins drawing the lines. As SH knows every street, every corner in London better than anyone, the calculating is quickly done]

SH: „The fountain and the church, alright, what, ‘one hundred eighty-six feet‘, that’s, okay here, now what, ‘neither sharp nor obtuse‘, a right angle, easy one“

[SH draws the line and thinks. He opens google maps and searches along that line until he finds where to go next]

_Sherlock WHERE ARE YOU???_

_\- JHW_

SH(sighs): „Can’t Lestrade stop annoying me?“

[SH opens his messenger. He is surprised of who wrote him and reads the texts from JHW. SH then answers trying to write as fast and less as possible. Time is running]

_I’m fine, but Mrs H, she’s not out I fear. The riddle thing. They are talking about a loved one, female, in danger. It’s the Globe. Come if you must, but stay safe!_

_\- SH_

_I’ll be there. Don’t do anything we could regret. You too!_

_\- JHW_


	8. It Takes Two, An Entry In John Watson’s Diary And Good News, Bad News – Unexpected Surprises For The Doctor

[JHW leaves into the bedroom. Still silent, he locks the door behind him and leans on the it; SH sighs and stands still for a few seconds, then he goes to the bedroom’s door. SH leans on the door, putting his hand on it; JHW hears SH]

SH: „John?“

[JHW was never this disappointed in SH and it makes him extremely sad. He forces himself not to answer, but he couldn’t anyway]

SH: „John.“

[JHW hears SH going away from the door. JHW goes to the bed and sits down, left alone with his thoughts. Beside all the other messed-up emotions there is so much anger in him right now he could really destroy something, he is overwhelmed. JHW just sits there, slumped down. After a while JHW just laughs and takes out his notebook again. JHW begins to write]

_ Seems like this is a successful day in terms of writing in here. The  _

_ reason though is not that great… I don’t even know why I’m still  _

_ writing in here when this arse reads it anyway. God, Sherlock is  _

_ driving me crazy. I thought I could trust him, but this is one step  _

_ too far. And I DON’T deserve this! He will have to apologize. He  _

_ will have to swear he never does anything like that again, or else…  _

_ He will have to make up for this, God knows how, but it’s gotta be  _

_ good. How could he? How could he hurt me like that? I never  _

_ thought he could hurt me like that, that he would…Seems like I was  _

_ wrong about him…  _

 

_Out for a case. Riddles, Shakespeare, Lestrade can tell you. Could take a while_

_\- SH_

[JHW checks his phone, sighs and puts the phone back. He then looks around, aimlessly and not really looking but just thinking. Suddenly a black notebook gets his attention and pulls him out of his thoughts. JHW tries to ignore it, he doesn’t want to do the same SH did to him, but then he thinks ‘tit for tat‘ and leans over to get it. JHW hesitates, but then he opens the book]

_ A surprise for John _

_ So far the plan is working out. He has no idea that I am planning  _

_ something and I want to keep it like that till the end, although I  _

_ hate to see him so disappointed and angry.  _

[JHW shuts the book, he can’t believe it. His heartbeat increases]

JHW(shouting): „Oh you utter…“

[JHW has now a big smile on his face. Though wishing he would, JHW can’t stop himself from reading. He reads the whole entry, smiling so wide. JHW even almost has tears in his eyes]

_ For the unlikely case that some arse(or John, especially John)  _

JHW(laughing): „Ha, oops“

_ gets his hands on this notebook I will keep one surprise a secret.  _

JHW(basically talking to the notebook): „Wait, what? Oh come on.“

[After JHW finished reading it over and over again, regretting it every time but also getting happier every time, he takes the notebook with him, he wants to at least tell SH the truth, that mostly works out better than lying. JHW hectically, but full of joy walks up and down the room, then opens the door and rushes into the living room. For a moment JHW forgot SH wasn’t there. He takes out his phone]

_Sherlock?_

_\- JHW_

[JHW goes down to MH’s flat to ask her where SH went. MH isn’t there and JHW texts SH again]

_Sherlock where are you? I wanted to ask Mrs H, but she’s out_

_\- JHW_

[JHW goes up again and walks up and down the living room, worrying. Remembering the last text from SH, JHW texts GL]

_Sherlock wrote he’s out for a case, but where exactly is he?_

_\- JHW_

_I don’t know. He solved a riddle and then he left. Apparently it was the fountain in Leicester Square, but he wrote there was another riddle and he was off again_

_\- GL_

_Could you tell me when you know something new? I need to tell him something_

_\- JHW_

_Sure_

_\- GL_

_Thanks_

_\- JHW_

[JHW is now even more worried and quickly texts SH again]

_Sherlock? Where are you? Lestrade doesn’t know either. He said you were at the fountain in Leicester Square, but where are you now?_

_\- JHW_

_Sherlock, where are you? I’m worried! Please just a quick message that everything’s fine_

_\- JHW_

[JHW is panicking]

_Sherlock WHERE ARE YOU???_

_\- JHW_

[Thankfully SH finally answers and JHW is relieved, but only until he reads the message]

_I’m fine, but Mrs H, she’s not out I fear. The riddle thing. They are talking about a loved one, female, in danger. It’s the Globe. Come if you must, but stay safe!_

_\- SH_

[JHW doesn’t want to believe it, his eyes are wide open leaving a panic expression in his face. One could see nothing but fear in JHW‘s face]

JHW: „Shit shit SHIT!“

[JHW hectically takes his jacket and his gun, just in case it appears to be of use. JHW runs down to the front door and leaves 221B]

_I’ll be there. Don’t do anything we could regret. You too!_

_\- JHW_


	9. Goodbye, Sherlock Holmes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Moriarty. Not every crazy criminal is Moriarty. This is not Moriarty.

[JHW takes a cab to the Globe, telling the driver to go as fast as possible. JHW can’t sit still. There’s so much going on in JHW’s mind, how is MH, what are they doing to her, is she still alive, how is SH, what if they can never talk again, what if JHW missed the chance to tell SH that he loves him. After what felt like an eternity, JHW is finally there. He gets off and pays the driver. JHW looks around, but can’t see SH anywhere, so he figures SH is already inside. JHW goes inside too, quiet, but fast. He overhears a converation on the stage and stops hiding behind some equipment. Except for the four the Globe is empty]

Stranger: „Aaah, the oh so famous Mr. Sherlock Holmes. He solved the riddles. Well done, well done.“

SH: „Well done? They weren’t anything close to difficult.“

Stranger(disappointed): „Anyways, you are here and so I got what I wanted.“

SH: „What exactly do you want?“

Stranger: „Kill you, that’s what I want. You’re just SO annoying, always solving the cases no-one can solve. You’re ruining my business. Oh what wonderful times when there was no consulting detective. Being a criminal is so hard these days and I’m SICK of it. But now you’re here and the future is bright, well, for me.“

[The stranger laughs. SH and the stranger stand opposite each other, a few metres between them]

SH(disbelieving): „What person would let thousands of books disappear and leave riddles in half of London just to get me here? That’s stupid.“

Stranger: „It’s not stupid, it’s FUN! Sure I could’ve gotten in contact with you easier, but that’s so BORING and I AM NOT BORING.“

SH: „Ah, and just killing me is boring too? There are so many possibilities to kill me every day. Someone who empties a whole library sure can…“

Stranger(cuts SH off): „Of course it is! I want to see your reaction and I want you to KNOW that you’re about to die and then I will kill you.“

SH(ignoring him): „Where is Mrs. Hudson?“

Stranger(pointing behind him): „Back there.“

SH: „Let her go.“

Stranger: „Oh I will, she was just an expedient to get you here.“

SH(shouting): „Now!“

Stranger(rolling his eyes, sighs): „Fine. Let’s take this as your last will.“

[The stranger commands SH to MH. SH frees MH who was tied at a heater. MH jumps up and hugs SH]

MH: „Oh Sherlock, what have you got yourself into again?“

[MH gently caresses SH’s cheek]

SH: „Nothing Mrs. Hudson. And now please go. Leave!“

MH: „Sherlock…“

[SH pushes MH in the direction of the exit and MH runs and leaves]

Stranger(watching them the whole time, annoyed): „Now, can we go on?“

[The stranger pulls his gun and smiles. SH doesn’t do anything against it, jumping out of the way is senseless, the stranger would follow if he’d try to run away, he has no gun, trying to defend himself wouldn’t be fast enough, he’d get shot anyway and so he accepts it]

Stranger: „I hope you said goodbye to your loved ones, because you won’t ever again. Goodbye Sherlock Holmes.“

[SH closes his eyes. A shot is fired]


	10. God, No More Shakespeare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning that it's getting intense

[SH carefully opens his eyes, he turns around. There stands JHW, there has been even more panic in his eyes, if possible. He is shaking, tears in his eyes. JHW lowers his gun and drops it]

JHW: „I…You…I…“

[SH rushes to JHW and hugs him as if he would never let him go again. JHW is now crying of relief, almost collapsing in SH’s arms. Like that they are standing there for at least a minute]

JHW: „I couldn’t let you die. I…“

[SH puts his hands around JHW‘s head, kissing him intensely]

SH(smiling lovingly): „It’s always you, John Watson.“

JHW: „Oh Sherlock.“

[JHW laughs or sobs, possibly both. SH smiles. He pushes JHW back until he leans against a wall, still kissing. JHW‘s hands are now under SH’s shirt, pressing his body against his own. JHW pulls back just enough to say something. He looks in SH’s eyes and caresses his cheek, his hair]

JHW: „I love you.“

[SH stops and looks at JHW, speechless, eyes blinking]

JHW: „What? Too soon?“

SH: „No no, I…I just didn’t expect it, here, now, in the Globe, next to a dead man.“

[JHW laughs, SH smiles. SH runs his hand through JHW’s hair and brushes a strand out of his face. They look deeply, lovingly in each other’s eyes]

SH: „I love you John Watson.“

[JHW and SH both have a big smile on their face. JHW pulls SH closer and kisses him. SH takes JHW’s hands]

JHW: „I don’t want to end this now, but I think we have to call Lestrade.“

[JHW points over to the dead stranger]

SH: „Yeah, I think so.“

[They kiss one last long time, then SH texts GL]

_The Globe theatre, stage, might want to bring the pathologist_

_\- SH_

_What did you do?_

_\- GL_

[SH shows JHW the message. JHW giggles]

JHW: „Tell him.“

_I didn’t do anything. It was our beloved army doctor_

_\- SH_

_You’ll have a lot of explaining to do. On our way_

_\- GL_

[SH and JHW are waiting for the police and make sure the body isn’t moved or any evidence removed as it must be, but since they’re the only ones in the building it isn’t the hardest of tasks. They link arms with each other, waiting, and now and then their eyes meet, they exchange a smile and a kiss and lean their heads against each others‘. There isn’t much talk, but it isn’t needed. They are worn out and the sole presence of the other is more than enough. Since SH almost died they are just so overly happy and relieved to be able to hold the other in their arms and that they just confessed their love for each other intensifies the euphoria that, although they are so tired they could sleep a whole day, conquers that physical and emotional exhaustion. After a while GL and the police arrive. The crime scene is cordoned off, the body is examined and everybody does their job just right, SH and JHW make their testimonies and after what felt like unpleasant long hours they are finally allowed to go home. It is evening now and SH and JHW take a cab]

SH: „So what now?“

JHW: „I could really need something less thrilling after that day.“

SH(grinning): „Oh, what about theatre then? I heard Hamlet is playing at the moment.“

JHW: „Oh God, please, no more Shakespeare.“

[SH laughs and puts his arm around JHW’s shoulder]

SH: „Yes, I think we have enough of Shakespeare for a while.“

[JHW leans his head on SH’s shoulder, smiles and closes his eyes]

JHW: „Let us go home.“

SH: „Home sounds good.“

[SH and JHW are driving back to 221B Baker Street; they get off holding hands and enter their flat. MH peeks through the door after she had heard someone enter the building and sees SH and JHW]

MH: „Oh thank God you’re alright.“

[MH goes to SH and fondly hugs him]

MH: „Oh good evening Dr. Watson. Would you two like to come inside for a cup of tea?“

JHW(friendly): „Thank you Mrs. Hudson, but not this evening.“

[MH looks at the two, smiles and softly pinches SH in his arm]

MH: „Have a nice evening, you two!“

[MH leaves again, sighing, smiling and shaking her head]

MH(mumbling to herself): „Oh where have I put my headphones?“

[SH and JHW rush upstairs. Just as they reached the final step they can’t wait any longer and kiss each other passionately while trying to get into their flat. JHW grabs SH’s shirt. SH opens the belt that nestles perfectly around JHW’s waist. They are bumping against walls and almost knock over a lamp as they slowly make their way to the bedroom leaving bits of clothes everywhere. JHW pushes SH against the door while they are kissing. SH, eyes closed, trys to find the door handle and finally opens the door. SH and JHW turn around and SH pushes JHW onto the bed. SH takes off his tie and starts to unbutton his shirt when he notices something]

SH: „You took my notebook.“


	11. Good Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning that it's getting really really really intense

[JHW looks at SH, deeply sorry. He fears SH’s reaction and tries to explain]

JHW(talking fast): „Listen, I was really pissed and I sat on the bed and then I saw your notebook and thought how could this possibly get worse, so I thought fuck it and I just couldn’t resist and then I read it and I was so happy, but also angry and I wanted to tell you that I read it and I wanted to apologize and…“

[SH leans over to JHW and lays his finger on JHW’s mouth]

SH(interrupting): „Ssssh…I don’t want to hear it.“

[SH kisses JHW softly. Both are slowly laying down on the bed. As SH comes closer and closer to JHW they are moving up towards the bedhead]

SH: „It doesn’t matter.“

[JHW smiles, swings his arms around SH’s head and kisses him, first slow, then deeper. JHW runs his hands through SH’s hair every other while pulling it a bit as SH kisses his neck. JHW moans as they are rubbing their bodies against each other. SH grabs JHW’s thigh, but before he gets to do anything more, JHW suddenly gets up and pushes SH’s body down on the bed with such strength that it leaves SH amazed. JHW is grabbing SH’s hands pushing them down above his head as he is passionately kissing him and moving his body up and down. They are sweating and gasping and SH is close to climax]

SH(moaning): „John“

[SH turns his head up and tries to find hold grabbing JHW’s back and almost scratching him. They are breathing heavily. JHW kisses SH and grins at him enjoying the control he has over SH]

SH(now louder): „John“

[SH is almost there, but suddenly JHW stands up, still grinning]

JHW: „Wow, I’m really hungry. Are you hungry too? Do you want me to make us some dinner? I think I’ll make us dinner.“

SH(with a dropped jaw): „You…“

[SH is still breathing heavily and looks up at JHW, who, unable to stop grinning, is going to the door. SH sits up and looks at JHW’s body, licking his lip, breathing. Then he jumps up and storms to JHW who was just opening the door. SH slams the door and JHW’s body against it kissing him passionately and then turning himself against the door stemming one foot against it and running his hands through JHW’s hair before he again grabs SH‘s hands and pushes them against the door. This time JHW doesn’t end sooner, he keeps going with such fire and dominance it makes SH’s legs go weak. SH grabs JHW’s back again, JHW grabs SH’s bottom rhythmically pushing their bodies against the door. Their faces glowing red and sweating, both moan, SH stops kissing JHW and turns his head up against the door, gasping, his eyes widley open he finally reaches climax]

SH(shouting maybe a little bit too loud): „Oh John, yes…yes bloody hell…oh…John…oh god…oh god…OH GOD“

[SH breathes heavily. JHW is still grinning and slowly kisses SH, who is gradually relaxing and now grinnig himself. JHW brushes the hair out of SH’s face looking him deep in the eyes. Now SH kisses JHW]

SH(whispering in JHW’s ear): „Turn around! I want to feel you“

[JHW does as commanded and turns around to lean against the door. SH slowly moves down John's body, kissing as he does so. His hands all over JHW, JHW grabs SH’s hair, playing with it while moaning and turning his head up. SH reaches one arm up and JHW grabs his hand and presses it against his chest. SH feels JHW's heart pounding heavily. It doesn’t take long and now SH grins looking up at JHW, who reaches climax and punches his hands, clenched to fists, against the door so hard one could think he might punch entirely through]

JHW: „Fucking jesus…Sherlock…OH GOD…oh yes yes YES“

[SH smiles. He wipes his mouth and gets up again. Their bodies sweaty, close, JHW embraces the small of SH’s back and SH holds JHW’s head while they look each other deep in the eyes. Like that they are moving through the room in small, slow steps until they fall on their bed. Both are smiling, kissing each other as they are crawling up the bed to eventually lay down in each others arms, playing footsies, running their fingers over each others‘ lips, tipping with them up each others‘ bodies, gazing lovingly at each other until they, in the end, fall asleep still cuddled up]

SH: „I’m in love with you John Watson.“

[A quiet snort is heard, JHW fell asleep in SH’s arms, cuddling him and still smiling. SH looks at JHW, this peaceful view warms up his heart. Tired, he closes his eyes and, just before falling asleep as well, he whispers in JHW’s hair, smiling]

JHW: „I promise to give you the best Valentine’s Day you ever had.“


	12. A Sensitive Man

[It is the morning of the 14th Febuary, Valentine’s Day, finally, and SH indeed woke up first. JHW must have been extremely exhausted, no wonder considerng what happened the previous day. When SH woke up he carefully covered up JHW with a blanket and snuck out the bedroom as quiet as possible to let his love sleep and calmly prepare some of the things of his list, but starting with tidying the mess they had left in the flat yesterday. At first, SH wanted to cook breakfast by himself, but he failed tremendously and so he went to JHW‘s favourite bakery and got him his favourite breakfast. At least he is good at brewing coffee. SH arranges everything neatly on the table, he even got some tulips for JHW. SH hopes they are a pleasure for him, he hopes JHW likes tulips, SH claims to remember JHW someday said something like that, did he, what if he doesn’t like tulips, what if he hates tulips? SH is very insecure and divisive and walks up and down between the kitchen and living room several times to decide whether he wants to put the flowers on the table or not until he eventually makes the decision to put them on the table. After breakfast is ready, SH sits down in his armchair to relax for just a moment, he didn’t think such things could be so stressful. He had a good sense of time as it isn’t long until JHW awakes. JHW awakes slowly, eyes still closed he first searches the other side of the bed for SH by scanning it with his hand and when he finds the side empty JHW rubs his eyes, opens them and looks around the bedroom. JHW stretches his muscles wondering what is going on as it is never SH who wakes up first, but then he remembers what day it is and a smile flits across his face. JHW stands up and looks outside. The weather is bright and their first Valentine’s Day seems to be very promising. JHW quickly puts something on and after a quick look in a mirror, he decides the way he looks right now must be enough, it can’t be fixed quickly anyway and by God, SH has seen worse, he opens the door and goes into the kitchen]

JHW(stretching his muscles again): „Good morning.“

[JHW was just coming into the living room, but suddenly stops. Although SH read JHW’s diary and JHW read SH’s notebook and knew that he was planning something, he didn’t think he’d actually do it after all what happened and so he is shocked, in a good way, when he sees the table, the breakfast and the flowers]

SH(standing up from his armchair and going to JHW, smiling): „Good morning John.“

JHW(big eyes, smiling): „You are the best boyfriend I could ever wish for.“

[SH put his hands on JHW’s arms and wanted to give JHW a kiss, but stops at these words, then kissing JHW even more loving]

SH: „Let’s have some breakfast, shall we?“

[SH accompanies JHW to the table and helps him with the chair like gentlemen do. JHW is amazed by how much SH cares, but enjoys it very much. SH takes the seat across from him and they enjoy their meal]

SH: „So, I hadn’t planned it like that and you didn’t, both of us know that the other planned something and what they planned and you’re right. It does ruin the surprise, but you also said that everything’s amazing when you’re with me and to be honest, I feel the same way…“

[JHW takes SH’s hand and smiles. SH smiles too, still a bit insecure]

SH: „…so I think that we know wouldn’t really change anything about how much we might like the activities and I could tell you what exactly I want to do today and you know of the activities, but you don’t know which ones I chose and when we will do what, so there’s still surprise to a certain extent and if you trust me…“

JHW(interrupting): „Of course I do.“

SH(smiling): „…and if you trust me I’d like to keep it that way and not tell you what we’ll be doing?“

JHW: „I always trust you Sherlock. I’m looking forward to it. It’s already more than I could ever ask for and I’m literally not even up for an hour.“

[SH is relieved and is even able to burst out a short laughter as a response, SH smiles, JHW smiles and they finish breakfast]

SH: „Great. I will give you time to get ready and I’ll get ready and then let me surprise you. Just so you know, no need for special clothes, I’d actually recommend not wearing your best clothes, just normal, as always, weather-appropriate. Let me tidy this up and you go.“

[SH stands up and so does JHW. JHW goes over to SH and hugs him for quite some seconds, one hand on the back of his head]

JHW: „This is wonderful. I love you.“

[SH didn’t expect a hug this soon and at first doesn’t return it, but about three seconds later they both stand there hugging]

SH: „I love you too.“

[They release from the hug, SH begins to tidy up the table and JHW leaves the room to get ready. When also SH is ready, they take their jacket and coat and leave 221B Baker Street. They are walking through London]

JHW(curious): „So, where are you taking me?“

SH: „Oh, I’m not taking you anywhere, we’re going for a walk. I thought you liked that. You always do it. Don’t you like it? You don’t like it…“

JHW(quickly): „No, no, no, I love going for a walk and you know that very well. This is great, I just didn’t know that we were doing that, that’s all. It’s lovely. You are with me and that makes everything better.“

SH: „Really?“

JHW(smiling): „Yes, stop worrying. You’re doing great. This is great. You’re great.“

[SH is relieved once again. He wants it to be perfect for JHW, he promised and although JHW didn’t hear it last night, it counts. SH smiles and links arms with JHW. Like that they walk for quite a while and while JHW always could be out for hours doing nothing but that, even SH for once forgets the time. Going for a walk isn’t that bad when with his boyfriend. They are already out for an hour when JHW notices something]

JHW: „Okay, you can’t tell me you’re not taking me somewhere. You are pulling me in certain directions. I’m not that unobservant, you know?“

SH(smiling): „Yes, I know, but can’t I try?“

JHW(grinning): „Do it or do it not, there is no try.“

SH: „Are you quoting again? You know I don’t watch telly.“

[JHW laughs and slightly pinches SH in the side, SH pinches back. There go on walking for  couple of minutes, but then they turn around a corner and SH looks down at JHW whose eyes are wide open and whose face gives an expression of happy surprise]

SH: „So, you know where we are…“

JHW: „Oh Sherlock.“

SH: „Well, I thought about being romantic and this seemed to be pretty romantic. Was it right?“

JHW(tearing up): „Of course, yes, yes, it is. To be honest, I had the same idea, but I thought it was way too cheesy and so I immediately threw that idea out.“

SH: „Judging by your reaction, I’m more than glad I didn’t.“

[SH and JHW are standing in front of St. Barts and although it isn’t as if they were there once and never again, in fact, due to their work they visit the hospital quite often, it is the first time they are there for something different than work and it touches JHW more than he thought]

SH(smiling): „I guess you can call me cheesy then.“

[JHW laughs shortly, tearing up even more as he finally sees how romantic SH can actually be. JHW looks down. SH lifts JHW’s jaw and their eyes meet]

SH(calmly, slowly drifting away to sadder thoughts, but at the same time as happy as ever): „Do you remember that day? How you stood there, not knowing what awaits you. It turns out I never knew what awaited me. You made me a better person. You were the first person not calling me a freak. I never thought I could be anyone's friend. I never thought someone would stay with me so long. I never thought someone could like me the way you do. I never thought I’d be able to love again and in no way I could imagine that someone could love me."

[JHW listens to every word SH says, but didn’t see it coming that he’d get so depressed. JHW shakes his head and caresses SH’s cheek. SH embraces the small of JHW’s back]

JHW(gazing lovingly at SH): „And I wondered how you knew I was in Afghanistan. I never met anyone like you, Sherlock and you can be annoying, but even after all this time I love you. I will always love you and that says more about you than me! You are lovable Sherlock. You are worth it and more. There is so much more to you than your intelligence and you are not the cold person everyone wants to see in you. You are the most interesting person I ever met and ever will meet, you are funny in your own weird way and I love that weird way, you are caring, your are ambitious and stubborn, you are a great violinst and I love it when you play for me, time does not exist when you dance with me, you appreciate my flaws and made me a better person, you trust me and I can trust you, oh, yes you’re an incredible lover and Christ, you are cheesy. I love everything about you, strength or flaw. You are my soulmate Sherlock!“

[SH on the other hand didn’t see that coming. He stands there, blinking, sobbing and with tears in his eyes: SH smiles at JHW and flings his arms around JHW’s neck. They are standing in front of Barts for quite a while. They want this moment to last forever. It feels like time stopped and they are the only ones left on the planet. And so SH and JHW stand there, hugging, smiling and kissing for their own little eternity]

SH(in JHW’s ear): „Thank you. I’m in love with you Doctor Watson.“

JHW: „And I’m in love with you Mr. Holmes.“

[Eventually, they have to go on and SH and JHW are walking side by side, silent for a long time, just appreciating the moment, but sooner or later someone breaks the silence. It is JHW]

JHW: „This is nice.“

SH: „What?“

JHW: „Being with you.“

SH: „I know.“

[There’s a short pause and SH frowns]

SH: „But you're with me almost every day?“

JHW(smiling): „I know.“

[JHW leans in to SH who then takes his hand and like that they walk on. They are silent again for quite a while and once again, it is JHW who breaks this silence]

JHW: „You know that I meant it, what I said? Your are great. You are lovable.“

[JHW feels like he has to convince SH of that every day. SH should know, because JHW nows. SH feels how his heartbeat increases. Although JHW tells him so often, SH can’t believe it. SH is speechless every time, but appreciates it with all of his heart. JHW knows SH doesn’t believe him, but he wants SH to try. JHW wants SH to know, that at least he does believe in it and always will. And that’s enough for SH and so he just nods, smiling at JHW as they are walking]


	13. Wonderwalls

[SH and JHW really enjoy their day together and time flies so fast. What was planned as a short walk turned out to fill all noon and most of the afternoon. Eventually, they return to 221B Baker Street and cook dinner together, something they’ve never done before and might never do again if they are really hungry. While JHW is pretty good at cooking, SH doesn’t really know anything about it or he doesn’t want to. Either way, he is distracted by JHW which makes cooking even more difficult, though neither of them seem to care. They have a little food battle, laugh and joke around and most of the ingredients end up in their stomachs immediately anyway]

JHW: „You’re doing it wrong.“

SH: „No I’m not.“

JHW: „You’ll lose a finger if you keep going like that.“

SH: „Then show me.“

[JHW goes up to SH, who stands at the worktop cutting vegetables, and helps him from behind. He flings his arms under SH’s arms and puts his hands over SH’s]

JHW(breathing in SH’s neck): „See, better.“

[JHW softly kisses SH’s neck]

SH(smiling): „Mmh…much better.“

[SH puts away the knife and turns around to give JHW a kiss]

SH: „Wine?“

JHW: „God yes.“

[SH takes out a wine and pours some in two glasses, he gives one to JHW]

SH(smiling): „Say, are you still hungry?“

JHW(laughing): „Not at all.“

SH: „Good. Me neither. Do you want to see a film?“

JHW: „Sounds good.“

[JHW takes SH’s hand and they both go into the living room]

SH: „You choose.“

JHW(with a big smile on his face): „Then I know exactly what we will watch.“

[JHW throws in ‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back‘ and sits down to SH. They had already watched the first two trilogies of Star Wars and SH fell asleep on JHW’s lap every time, but not this time. They watch the film cuddled up, drinking wine and refilling their glasses every other while. SH leans on JHW’s shoulder. His eyes are getting tired, but he forces himself to stay awake, it’s Valentine’s Day and he won’t fall asleep this early. After they finished the film SH stands up, bows down and reaches his hand out, smiling as he makes this whole act looking funny]

SH: „May I have this dance?“

[JHW gazes lovingly at SH appreciating how lucky he is and takes SH’s hand]

JHW(smiling and looking in SH’s eyes): „Always.“

[There isn’t even music playing, but that is just alright. JHW holds SH’s left, SH JHW’s right hand and JHW places his other hand on SH’s shoulder, SH on JHW’s hip. Their bodies close, they just dance and JHW leans his head against SH’s chest, smiling]

JHW: „We didn’t do much today, but it is perfect. This is perfect and I could let this moment last forever.“

[JHW slowly moves his hand from SH’s shoulder up to his neck, JHW plays with SH’s locks, smiling in his chest. SH has rested his chin on JHW’s head and JHW could feel he smiled too. Both closed their eyes as they are slowly dancing through the living room. SH takes JHW’s hand away from his neck and down to his hip, placing his own upon. Still dancing, they both look up and their eyes meet. Looking at each other they can’t help but smile again and SH kisses JHW lovingly. JHW starts to unbutton SH’s shirt as he gradually pushes them both against a wall. SH takes off his shirt and JHW throws away his pullover and then they rapidly continue with their trousers, still kissing and beginning to breathe a bit heavily]

SH(confessing because JHW deserves to know, but probably caused by the alcohol in his blood): „Hey John“

JHW(kissing SH’s neck): „Mmmh“

SH: „I didn’t read your notebook.“

[JHW looks up, laughs, shakes his head and sighs. JHW looks at SH, smiles and kisses him]

JHW: „Happy Valentine’s Day Sherlock.“

SH(surprised by the reaction, but glad): „Happy Valentine’s Day John.“

[And by that JHW pulls his love into the bedroom so that he can receive his present]


	14. Epilogue

Although there were many problems and misconceptions, a lot of anger, sadness and doubt, in the end it were tears of joy that they shed. Confessing their love for each other and more or less additionally solving a crime the bond between the two strengthened and keeps strenghteneing with every day.

Mrs Hudson is more than fine and the day after Valentine’s Day John Watson and Sherlock Holmes couldn’t reject a cup of tea with their landlady explaining her what exactly happened in the Globe and why it happened.

Tracing back the actions of the stranger, Greg Lestrade and his team were able to find all the books in an empty warehouse, getting them back to the library where they are now taken care of even more than before. The library will open again and Sherlock Holmes can breathe a sigh of relief as he therefore isn’t forced to look for a new library, still he has to arrange himself with the new personnel, but who says one has to be friends with everyone?

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are back in the game and the changes in their relationship seem to have a very helpful effect on their crime-solving abilities as well. Sherlock Holmes is even better at deducing, even though he gets distracted by John Watson every now then, and he seems friendlier, only in the presence of the doctor, but that’s better than nothing and everything takes its time. John Watson understands Sherlock Holmes even better and they are a perfectly rehearsed team, better and quicker in solving, often understanding the other without words and John Watson finally has his aggression problems mostly under control.

As always, John Watson sat down at his laptop to write a blog about the just-solved case. Being extraordinarily creative with the titles, he, after thinking a bit, decided to name their last case ‘The Riddler‘ and ‘The Riddler‘ is a hit on his blog. The people, already totally affected by his posts, seem to love cases with personal danger even more and it has more clicks than the ‘boring‘ ones. Many comments under the post send out congratulations as usual, but also hopes for them being well, which John Watson shows to Sherlock Holmes, expecting a reaction of at least being somewhat happy about it. But he did not expect that the consulting detective doesn’t at all focus on these comments, but the title of his blog and only the title. Teasing John Watson with how ridiculous his headlines are, is a thing Sherlock Holmes always does, but it doesn’t hurt John Watson at all, he laughs it off and by now even made it fun for himself by inventing the most ridiculous headlines on purpose and so this little quirk of them goes on with every case.

The first days after confessing their love for each other the first time, they did it so often one could think it got annoying and lost its meaning, but it didn’t and it won’t. They keep confessing their love days and weeks and months and years, no matter how hard times might be, in the end they can always count on the other. Both feel the need to show their boyfriend around and puplicly confess their love and although honestly no-one cares, people have their own lives, they do exactly so and even though they failed the showing around part, it puts the biggest smiles on their faces.

John Watson decided to put his diary away and locked it in a drawer deep down in hopes he doesn’t have to use it for a long time.

Sherlock Holmes on the other hand keeps his notebook which turned into his ‘John-Book‘ and keeps all their memories. He may not be exactly a man of sentimental words, but ever so often indeed a man of sentimental gestures and so this notebook soon becomes one of his proudest, secret possessions. He keeps it in his nightstand which might be a bit negligent considering how that turned out previously, but John Watson and Sherlock Holmes decided to let some things be secret and so Sherlock Holmes can even write in it when John Watson is with him.

They do have a weird way of trusting each other and how those things develop, how they deal with those things, can’t be called normal. It takes a murder for a love confession and disappointment and a faked lie for trust. That isn‘t normal in any way, but so aren’t they. Normal is boring and when ever will something in their lives happen the normal way?


End file.
